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There's 'traitor' tattooed on my forehead

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[02 Mar 2009|11:18pm]
It seems like the easiest way to have a job once I graduate would be to stay in school and keep my on-campus job. I'd only have to be enrolled for 6 credits (two math grad classes maybe??) in the fall to get 20 hours a week for summer as well as fall. This would be not so great if I had to pay for those credits but I just so happen to have $1000 in scholarship money that I might as well use. And then get another part-time job I guess, since it seems like there won't be any full time ones available. Or not. PS, I really want to get serious starting this wedding band. Who's getting married?

Also we finally got a quartet together last night and played Beethoven's Opus 18 No. 1 and it was sweet!!!!
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I'm not gambling [16 Sep 2008|01:11am]
today I have learned a lot of stuff about probability, neurology, and organic chemistry. guess which one of those is actually school related?
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Decisions [02 Sep 2008|12:27am]
Poll #1252228 Should I get a cellphone?

Should I?


Why or why not?

How much does my decision impact your life (1 being not at all, 10 being completely)?

Mean: 4.43 Median: 4 Std. Dev 3.37
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waaagh wuuugh [30 Aug 2008|01:13pm]
beep beep boop boop it's really hard to write in here, but I'll try again. here's the latest news:

1. I'm starting classes next week! And miraculously none of my courses have been randomly dropped due to lack of enrollment or professors abruptly skipping town. Yay! And how does four classes plus my thesis come out to only 16 credits? Am I going to secretly die this semester? Who knows?! I have: Ab Alg, Probability (with abrahamson yay!), Africa, and Sociology/Minority Group Relations (why why why).

2. Hung out with some Wesbabies especially Max. Watched Boys of Prague II! I want to work in the porn industry more and more these days.

2. Kissed a girl - her name is Rina and she's sexy and she's leaving for school on the west coast this weekend. Boo (more to come on the potential development of our penpalship, I suppose)

3. Gonna get a foldout table for my room and maybe a bulletin board. I'm making a Positivity Wall so I can become a more positive person. Don't be a hater.

4. I miss Jill and I hope she doesn't hate me
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food, bikes, cats [02 Jul 2008|11:32am]
I want pasta, but I'm not going to be home till almost midnight on Sunday. God damn it, Max. But also, we are going with CJ to Maryland, where Seth will be, and staying in a hotel. Awesome! Also, there is tofu in my freezer and I'm excited about eating it when I get home. I'm supposed to work some extra hours on Monday, but how realistic is that, for serious? They'll give me up to 30 so I can finish these awful yearly contract things. But also, I'm supposed to start at the writing center next week, so I don't know. It's really hard to say "fuck you" to my old job, especially because my boss is on military leave. But I'll try to sabotage it by mentioning it on livejournal.

Also, breaded tofu is pretty awesome and I'll be making it a lot from here on out. So I think my next meal at home will consist of shells&alfredo, breaded tofu sticks (seasoned like mozzarella sticks, yummies) and frozen broccoli. I could even put broccoli in the pasta. crazy!!!

ALSO I GOT A BIKE and the person who sold it to me knew nothing about bikes and it was very sad and she was shying away from the option of girl bikes when it came to finding something in my size, and stood around not knowing what to do because there was nothing small enough until I said "There's no difference except the bar, am I right? I don't mind a women's bike" and she was like "oh" and I test rode a bianchi and a cannondale and ended up getting the cannondale which is freakin sweet the end, and apparently while that was happening she was telling jill how nice it was to see a guy willing to ride a women's bike, and oh jeez, seriously? It's not that uncommon

then me and jill went bike riding which is probably in the top 5 great experiences of my life

However, despite being a women's bike mine is a boy because I called it "he" but he doesn't have a name yet.

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." (Albert Einstein)

longcat is loooong
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[18 Jun 2008|01:20am]
hi babies

so I'm kind of permanently in a fight with everyone in the world right now. Or at least five pretty important people, which is way more than the same thing (taking the most popular use of "everyone" to mean "two people"). I'm sort of okay with that... really! I could go on and on about the complexity of my tragic situation and how unprofessionally douchey I'm being, but I'm kind of distracted by the fact that I moved out of my parents' house indefinitely, and it's a pretty cool place I got here. Also, I'm not in a fight with Jill, so that rocks because she and I share some very important life sentiments. Clearly, I wouldn't mind hanging out with someone who didn't share my important life sentiments, but there are many different kinds of love, and each one is its own unique moon pearl. I also cut her hair! I feel special.

Secondly, I like cake.

And finally, I think about intelligence a lot lately. It's been a while. I got too distracted with race and class and gender, and only now am I realizing that I think most people are idiots. The solution is to improve my attitude again. (By sheer will. My mom has faith in me to do it, at least. Even though she's one of the five.) Basically, I'm 13. (Actually I'm turning 20 in 4 days. but don't tell anyone)
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[08 May 2008|05:50pm]
socioeconomic status : wealth :: gender : sex

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bouncy bouncy [23 Apr 2008|12:09pm]
I just saw a sign on the skybridge for the "Future Fusion" dance party thing (oh jeeeez) and thought "Future Sailors..."

and then I noticed there was a bouncy castle on the quad
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What? My parents aren't the same race? When did that happen? [11 Apr 2008|01:56pm]
I'm too lazy to retype this, so here's the IM transcript from when I just heard them yelling in the next room. The value might be lost on this unless you know anything about me and my parents.

me: my parents are fighting
omg omg omg omg

jill: ......



me: so my dad wrote an article for the socialist standard about third-world countries without talking to her (or anyone) about it
and it got published and she read it and was like "this is totally wrong and insensitive to anyone in a third-world country"
and he was like "I did re-search"
in that british accent of his

jill: omg this is amazing
like a soap opera

me: I've never seen my parents like this before
this is amazing
I just heard my mom yell "I'm just saying this because I am a woman! of color!"
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I grow up [09 Apr 2008|01:48pm]
If everything works out I'm gonna have a crazy awesome junior/senior year. Independent studies, thesis, working at the Writing Center and living off-campus. Oh and I have Dr. Abrahamson for Probability in the fall. He's my favorite.

Philosophy professors at RIC are very strange. I'm not sure if hanging round them will be a great idea, even if it is the easiest way to fulfill my cognate (Intermediate/Advanced Logic).

Basically I am not a big fan of being addressed formally, I mean I figured I'd try to get a doctorate young enough so no one would ever get the chance to call me Mr. Shenfield but the Philosophy department chair totally killed that. And my bosses call me "sir" at work which is probably the most annoying thing in the world because it only gives them license to be more condescending to me.
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[07 Apr 2008|10:30pm]
degeneratecube: I got into Pi Mu Epsilon
degeneratecube: (the math honor society)
ArcticFlame88: what is up with everyone going into frats?
ArcticFlame88: weirdness
ArcticFlame88: but congrats
degeneratecube: lol I wish it was a frat
ArcticFlame88: it sure sounds like one
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Good things [07 Apr 2008|01:19pm]
I had a particularly delightful weekend with my delightful boyfriend which involved two not-entirely-delightful-but-definitely-worth-going-to shows. Also, I got positive feedback from two supervisors at work (although my regular boss will probably always be an idiot). Thirdly, I'm growing sideburns. On my face.

I'm hanging out with Kaidon today! And this weekend I'm going to see Boston Marriage with Jill and Kip. Crazy awesome.

Last week I managed to get my hands on some Marmite, and it makes not eating meat so much easier! Yummyface.
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[04 Apr 2008|12:55am]
I'm just so damn pretentious!

It's my true nature!

It sucks!
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[03 Apr 2008|01:42am]
Topics: Men and Masculinities in American History
is slowly but surely killing my gender.
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[23 Mar 2008|03:01pm]
Is there a proof that the constant functions and trigonometric functions are the only periodic ones?


I got stuck on that question last night while trying to learn Fourier theory. Mind you I was not exactly in the right state of mind for that kind of thing. Also, I am annoyed at having to type mathematical notation in MS Word/openoffice. Also, I am annoyed at math. Can I be a sociology major? Please? What the hell am I doing.

Hahaha clearly my relationship with everything academic is love/hate, so don't accuse me of being a hypocrite because I have math tattoos. Obviously I hate sociology more than I could ever hate math. Too bad they both mean so much to me, I might have to eat them.

Also, I just found out I have to take another social/behavioral gen ed and if it is going to have to be Gender and Society I am going to have to kill something. Seriously. I mean, why do I even consider taking any gender classes here at all? The whole reason I'm here is that it isn't radical hippy collegebubble post-gender land. No, actually, the reason I'm here is that I was too lazy to apply anywhere else. Or too depressed. I don't actually know why.
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first ink evar this afternoon [20 Mar 2008|11:51pm]
Inner ankle tattoos are just soooo derivative, don't you think?

Read more...Collapse )
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Asian babies [17 Mar 2008|11:24am]
The past 4.5 days have truly made me realize that Max is amazing and I want to raise Asian babies with him. I think they will be adopted, because that will be easier than either of us giving birth to Asian babies. Furthermore, in Max's words: "Adopted Asian babies! Those are the best kind of Asian babies." Clearly he is a big ol' racist who thinks Asian babies should not get borned.

There is no way I can convey the ridiculousness of the time I spend with him in all its glory with this tiny snippet of our interactions:

Me: I love cereal... it invokes the power of Ceres.
Max: Yes! I love you!

I sure know how to impress those Classics majors, don't I? Basically, the Asian babies get to be raised like how I was raised, on science fiction and astronomy and classical music and Horrible Histories, so that they too can make impressive references to a variety of fields that impress people. Max and I perfectly mirror my parents' parenting style, on top of that. Max is like my mom in that he is good at a lot of really useful domestic tasks like cooking and driving and probably taking care of Asian babies, and I am like my dad in that I'm a socially inept academic. I think Max will probably be satisfied with having no real influential part in the Asian-baby-raising as long as he gets to sleep around, and I get to satisfy the needs of my ego and my love for education by raising a child with none of the hard work involved.

I realize this is a pretty lofty conclusion to come to especially when it involves someone I met off the internets two and a half months ago, but damn it, I think it's a good idea, and I'm usually right about these things.

PS they also have to listen to the Egg Song 24/7 between the ages of 1.5 and 18
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[17 Mar 2008|04:05am]
A recent-ish (less than six months old) development in my life is that I keep noticing cute guys, or perceive more guys as cute, or something. It's pretty cool. Most of these guys go to college. Shame! I mean, very convenient. I guess it's an incentive to stay in college, or maybe an incentive to drop out. Either way I think I will probably look back on my college days (not RIC, but the schools I pretend to be enrolled at sometimes) and wish I could be back with all those cute boys. I don't know!

Actually I don't know what to think of this because I normally perceive myself as never being attracted to anyone. CLEARLY PUBERTY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE SINFUL THOUGHTS
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Property [12 Mar 2008|02:42pm]
Even after reading The Dispossessed I think I can still have a radical viewpoint on ownership despite being a musician and valuing the fact that I own my instruments. I also own my body as it is another necessary tool for self-expression and how expressive I can be with it is dependent on the fact that it belongs to me and has stayed with me for a certain number of years. The same applies (for me) to instruments but not really to computers or clothes or anything else I own, even the sentimental "priceless" stuff that has no practical use (or might have use, but not musical use). If feeling like I possess anything is bad, then that would kind of suck because I sort of enjoy owning parts of my body.

Language is interesting. In romance languages (or French and Spanish as far as I know) the way things are worded imply you don't own your body parts, for example "I brush myself the teeth." In The Dispossessed language is used in this way as well. Not sure if this implies ownership of the self as a whole, or just the self having an identity, but it would be interesting to explore how concepts of ownership and self-identity differ for those growing up with languages that interpret them differently.

Speaking of language, my Spanish is very poor. There was a woman at the ATM who did not speak a word of English, and for some reason read me as a Spanish-speaking person (something that has not happened to me in a few years) and asked me for help. It was an interesting situation in that I understood her completely, was extremely limited and pretty good at speaking at the same time (I could explain "multiples of 20"), and actually would have been able to help her if there was not some other problem unrelated to language and the use of the machine. Except perhaps for the fact that I did not know how to say "Would you like to try again, but change something?"

Situations like this make me want to learn Spanish for real, but I don't know if it will happen.
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[06 Mar 2008|05:44am]
So the past few weeks I have been feeling really down, specifically about school and intellectual interest and career crap that I really should not be worrying about. And worrying that I would not be able to do my thesis because I have found absolutely nothing I can work with and Dr. Kovac must hate me, etc etc nothing you don't already know.

But anyway. Today after linalg I managed to catch him in his office and talk to him, which was pretty much yay. Actually, a bit surreal in the best possible way. He talked to the department head who was apparently very excited, as there has not been a math undergrad thesis since 2002... and then we talked about crazy kids at Williams who actually know enough to do pure math papers and I was a little sad, but not really because I just ordered two delicious books that will hopefully bring my brain back to a solid state. And I am going to make the whole math department love me.

Teehee, I also said hi to Jenn the math secretary, who is awesome and not even a math student like I had always assumed. Oh delicious betrayal!

I am at Geoff's apartment and not sleeping. It's hmmm. Geoff is a sound engineer and it is pretty crazy. His approach to music is totally different from mine. Oh! I got to play his theremin! Soooo amazing and I want one wicked bad

So basically, music is sexy and hopefully math and physics will become sexy again.

I'm also perpetually confused and that's interesting.
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